I Hate When My Christmas Tree Tries to Eat Me by Mary Black Rose
What happens when your Christmas tree has a mind of its own—and it’s hungry?
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This is a collection of three LGBTQ, light-hearted cozy-horror tales about love, chaos, and carnivorous evergreens.
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Story 1:
I’ve dodged my parents’ “come home for Christmas” guilt trips for years. No more screaming cousins, or Uncle Orem smelling like sadness and pickled feet, and definitely no more green Jell-O “salad.” But when my excuse-job dies, I end up working at Dirk’s Tree Farm. Easy—until the trees start whispering, my boss gives off horror-movie energy, and Tali—my coworker—might be flirting… or sealing my doom.
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Story 2:
I just wanted the perfect tree for my pregnant girlfriend. Instead, I brought home something with teeth. Now I’m fighting for festive survival between cuddle time and killer-pine attacks. I wanted cute and cozy, not carnivorous.
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Story 3:
I’ve waited my whole life to leave Dirk’s Tree Farm. Good trees obey… but when chaos erupts, I escape to find out what it means to be a real Christmas tree. Maybe I’ll find love, purpose, and a human snack or two. Pig meat gets old fast.
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Grab some cocoa and a blanket—but skip the tree trimming this year. These evergreens have bite!
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Author Bio:
I studied writing at the “School of Hard Knocks” and “University of Life,” getting my degrees in “Fine Arts of Common Sense” with a minor in “Epic Ass-Handing.”
Being pansexual, I enjoy writing a variety of LGBTQ characters with diverse ethnicity and sexual orientations, and a pinch of magic thrown in for good measure: or in other words stories about everyday people in fantastic situations.
Essentially, I read a lot to keep the voices in my head quiet. I write a lot to keep the voices alive.
When I’m not writing, I’m supporting my husband and wife, (yes, you read that right – I’m polyamorous), being caretaker of minions, (losing track of how many – it’s like they multiply), you might find me crocheting, watching Deadpool or South Park again, or attempting to be Defender of The Universe.
Slight Disclaimer: All Universes exist within my imagination. Any attempts to access it may result in serious mind-bending alterations. You’ve been warned! Happy reading!
Yours,
Mary Black Rose
PS – You can also find me writing Lesbian BDSM Romance under the pen name Mistress Black Rose